Fear of Failure in Children - Overcoming the Most Common Problem of Life
By Andrew Loh
Fear of failure among many school going children could be a serious
issue for their parents. Of late, this sensitive issue is reaching dangerous
proportions too. Fear of failure could result in acute anxiety and panic
just before taking a class test or perform in a school recital or even
participate in a sport event. Children who undergo a spell of fear could
fail to perform well in their classroom tests or show bad performance in
a sport event. Consistent failures may also result in your children not
taking any risks, thereby failing to achieve the desired results.
Fear of failure is very common among different children. Fear could be a two edged
sword. To some extent, fear is an essential part of life; in fact,
fear could act like a catalyst to urge us to achieve some useful goals
in life. Fear could also act as a strong tool to counter all those invisible
obstacles that actually cause failure. We can easily pinpoint all those
errors, mistakes and blunders that resulted in failures. Failures can connect different consequences with various actions that eventually
help gain ownership for the efforts.
Failure teaches many useful things to children. It can teach an array
of life skills like patience, determination, motivation, vision,
decision making, perseverance and more importantly problem solving.
Repeated episodes of failure can result in utter frustration and
disappointment among our children. However, repeated failure will also help
children learn respond positively to any crisis.
Defining failure is very challenging and a tough task. You may need to
encourage your children to value the basic concept of fear rather than
fear it. Here are some basic facts about fear.
Failure is not in consonance with its possible causes. Children will
need to take responsibilities for their actions. Otherwise, they may
experience repeated failures.
Success may not relate to popularity. Rather, it is a personal
achievement. Longing for popularity may work negatively and result in future
Failure occurs when children do not give their best efforts. Failures
also result because of wrong decisions and untimely efforts. In fact,
children may not do something that is of immense interest to them.
When children seek an easy way out to achieve success, they may
experience possible failures. Peer pressure is yet another reason for failure. When
children act in a way that hurts their interests, failures become a certainty.
When children become self-centered and selfish, they may experience
repeated failures. When children treat others poorly, they may taste failure from
time to time.
Giving a proper definition for failure will help many parents wean away the
fear that results in failure. Children should understand that
failure is an important stepping-stone for future success. Many a time,
children may never participate in any activities, classroom or
otherwise, even though they are capable of achieving the best results.
This could be due to the fear of failure that lingers in the mind of
children. The very thought of fearing failure could break the confidence
in the minds of children. Hence, the most important responsibility for
parents is to drag their children from the clutches of failure.
The main reason for fear of failure is peer pressure. If children
perceive that they are weak, unpopular and poor, they may experience
The stigma of failure could be very damaging to children. It can wreck
children's confidence, reduce levels of motivation and eventually cause
a dilution in self-esteem.
Popular belief and culture consider failure as someone being poor,
dejected, rejected, powerless, unpopular or even weak personality. In
many cases, children who fail in their classroom tests and sports events
will eventually become victims of ridicule and bullying. Often,
failure gets a demonized tag of incompetence and uselessness that
eventually translate into notion of loosing all the goodness of life.
Parents may need to teach their children to treat failure is just
another part of their life. They should also train them to face all
possible consequences of failure. Children who agree and believe that
occasional failures are common events in their lives, can
develop the much needed confidence and encouragement to dispel fear of
failure and taste future success. Success and failures are the two sides
of same coin. They are inter-changeable too. Repeated or consistent failure
may work as invaluable and painful lessons in your children's life. Learning
or mastering how to cope with them will eventually help your children
drive away excessive fear from their minds. Continue to read
Helping Children Overcome Fear of Failure - Practical Tips and Suggestions