Helping Children Overcome Fear of Failure -
Practical Tips and Suggestions
By Andrew Loh
Why intense fear of failure should be given utmost attention to? This is
a dicey and tricky question that you might ask. Unless your children are
able to overcome the fear of failure, they may not
achieve satisfactory results. Normally, the fear of failure in
children produces a
series of negative and adverse thoughts that eventually reduce your
children's actual strengths and potentialities. Fear of failure can tie
down your children's mind. It can make your children mentally weak and
tired. In fact, it can make them incapable of achieving anything in
life, even though they are capable of reaching the highest levels of
Avoiding failure in life is almost impossible. Failures always occur in
everyone's life. Children are not different; in fact, they are more
prone to experience failure than adults. The reasons for children
experiencing failures are very obvious. Young children grow and develop
everyday including the brain and its essential functions. Several
social skills like reasoning, thinking and imagination are rudimentary
in a young child's life. Children often take their time to develop these
skills that help them devise strategies and methods to overcome
Avoiding failure is a tough challenge. Children can learn that they can
avoid failure in four different ways:
Children not taking any part in any type of activities in which they fear failure
If they do not take part in any activities, they will
never face failure. However, this is a negative attitude on part of
children. Whatever the outcome, children should take part in any type of
activities that provide them an opportunity to reach success levels.
Success does not come so easily. Success always succeeds well calibrated
and well-tuned effort.
Hence, parents may need to convince their children that failure is
inevitable in life, at least during some occasions, and they can get
success after some incidents of failures. Parents may also need to
ensure their children that repeated attempts will eventually equip them
with the capability to attain unqualified success.
Example: Children learning how to ride a bicycle is a classical example
of attaining success. Children can never learn bicycling without falling
down from a bicycle. In fact, children are bound to experience failure
before tasting success. Parents may need to assure their children of
they are learning to ride a bicycle. Though extremely apprehensive of
falling down from a bicycle, children still end riding on it, despite initial failures.
Taking risks is a common aspect of life
Talk to your children about the importance of taking risks to achieve something tangible in life.
Unless someone takes some risks, they will never be able to achieve
anything in life. When your children understand the criticality of
taking risks, they will get ready to face several incidences of failure
with a confident and energetic mind.
Incidences of failure should translate into significant learning experiences
Experience could be the best possible mentor. Previous
bitter experiences will pave the way for future incidences of success.
Young children need lot of encouragement from their parents
Encouraging your children can help you raise their self-confidence and
motivation. Parents may need to act as mentors or guides to dispel the fear of failure from their
children's mind. Fear of failure is a psychological phenomena. Often, children may fear experiencing
the success itself; experts believe that the price of attaining success is the challenge of retaining it and
fear of losing it.
Leaving home aside, classroom and schools are two of the most important
places for children. Most children love to go to school to mingle with
their friends and teachers. However, peer pressure is very common in a
typical classroom. Some children may not have the required ability to
handle peer pressure, especially in sports, studies and tests. Some
children may also develop an acute fear complex to compete with relatively
brighter and smarter students, who can score better
marks and grades.
Parents must help their school going children from getting into the
vicious trap of peer pressure and its dangerous aftermath. Constant
encouragement and assistance can work like nutritious tonic to your
children; the most important thing to consider here is to make your
children develop self-image and self-esteem that eventually help them
develop an urge or desire to compete with their peers. Parents may also
need to teach their children several important self-talk words and
Note: These words will help children who are in the age bracket of 10 to 15 years.
More often, one single incidence of success can help children break out
of the cocoon and try again to repeat it. Once they know that they need
not bow down to fear, they can easily make it a habit to repeat the act of
attaining success in every endeavor of life. Two of the most important
positive traits that drive out fear from our minds are self confidence and self
belief. Once your children develop these positive traits, nothing can
stop them from achieving success, from time to time and throughout their
Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries, and Phobias
By Tamar E. Chansky, Ph.D
If you are the parent of one of the millions of children with worry and anxiety: help is on the way. Anxiety
is the number one mental health challenge facing our children today. Fortunately, there is good news for
these kids and the parents who suffer along with them - anxiety disorders are also the most treatable mental
Treatment is not about trying to cajole or talk kids out of their fears; it's about teaching them to see
worry as a problem to be solved. Translating cutting-edge techniques into down-to-earth, empathic, user-friendly
steps, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety equips parents, teachers and therapists with the information they need
to recognize the red flags of anxiety in children.