Developing Your Child's Self-Esteem

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Hi,
Young minds are very fragile and fickle. Their tender minds tend to respond very quickly to the world around them. They react in a proactive manner to any events that might likely to hurt or embarrass them. Such events act on their minds in an adverse manner. Negative feedbacks, stereotypic opinions on their intelligence, appearance and looks could be potentially very disastrous on a child's self-esteem, self-confidence and self-image.

Just sometime back, a YouTube video created quite a stir in the cyber world. When a young girl posed a very sensitive question in her video, the entire world, which watched it, was truly stunned and shocked! Thousands of viewers who watched the video simply could not answer the girl's simple, yet intriguing question - “Am I pretty or am I ugly?”

A shocking question at that, it is quite sad nevertheless! Her sincere and honest question poses many critical questions than simple answers. However, it is a classical example of a innocent child who is most probably experiencing negative self-esteem. In addition, her shocking video is also opening up the debate on both good and bad parenting and in what manner negative parenting is leading to instances of declining self-esteem in our children. All the best!

Thought for today:
"When people believe in themselves, they have the first secret of success. " - Norman Vincent Peale

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Developing Your Child's Self-Esteem
A child is a mirror image of his or her own mind. Self-esteem is what makes your child. Self-esteem is an important personal trait that plays a critical role in your child's mental development.

Q1: I have twins age 6. A girl and a boy. My daughter is extremely smart almost on a third grader reading level and she is in the first but she still thinks as a 6 yr old. She loves school. Her brother on the other hand has stated he doesn't like school but is super intelligent, purposely does only enough to keep him from getting in trouble or failing but thinks like someone twice his age. He understands the concept of segregation. When our home burnt down his sister was more fascinated by the fire trucks where he was more upset about where we were going to live. Sometimes I feel that he is more bored with school, should I have him tested for a gifted program?

A: I believe that both your kids have above average abilities and are potentially gifted; though your son shows more signs of some emotional concerns that are distinct to a gifted child. They are just a little different from one another and gender could possibly play a part apart from the personality make up. Your son appears to have a deeper sense of emotional intensity as compared to your daughter. The higher the cognitive and intellectual component, the high the emotional intensity..... Continue to read Dr. Sandhu's answer on Emotional Intensity and Testing for a Gifted Programme here.

Q2: My son is 4 years old. He is very close to his grandpa, with whom he spends most of his time. When he was a little over 2 years old, he started playing with bricks that were left over from our home renovation, supervised by my dad. When I came to see what he had been up to, I was astonished. He had built an entire colony of houses, with each one of them having a separate entrance and a lawn...

A: The description that you gave about your son is simply amazing. Doing what he did at such a young age indicate very high ability and he is gifted for sure. You need to now monitor his progress further and provide him with appropriate learning activities to cater for his curious mind.... Continue to read Dr. Sandhu's answer on Highly Advanced Development here.

Q3: I have a 9 month old daughter. Her brother is believed to be gifted, but his sister has a different father. Can you tell at such a young age if they are gifted? She held her head up since birth, and very alert, even tracking practically since birth as well. At about 3-4 month in a week's time we realized if we held her hands, and said, "up," she knew that as a cue to go up.....

A: It is a little hard to tell for sure at this age as there is minimal description on the traits. Shared genes are an influencing factor; hence if her brother is gifted, there is a possibility that she might be as well. But as I said, it is hard to tell at this point. A few pointers to help you tell if your baby is advanced.... Continue to read Dr. Sandhu's answer on Above Average Development in Infants here.

Being Me: A Kid's Guide to Boosting Confidence and Self-esteem
By Wendy L. Moss, Ph.D

Many kids struggle with low confidence. The good news is, Being Me can help kids tackle everyday challenges and build confidence and self-esteem.

This handy guide gives kids the tools they need to explore their strengths, feel successful, and be confident in school, with friends, and importantly, with themselves. Loaded with kid-relevant examples and easy-to-do tips and tricks, Being Me will empower kids to feel happier and more secure and confident with themselves and with everyone else in their lives.

Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your Children in Language That Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages Responsibility
By Chick Moorman

In Parent Talk, a must-have for every parent with a preschool to high school-age child, Chick Moorman tells you what to say so that you can communicate more effectively -- and peacefully -- with your child in every circumstance.

Do you find yourself in those maddening situations where you sound like a broken record when talking to your child? Your preschooler won't decide what she wants to wear, regardless of how many times you insist that she just choose; your struggling third grader says "I can't do math," and your "Sure you can!" reassurance falls like a dead weight

WU study finds nurtured children have greater brain development
Stud Life Feb 16, 2012

A recent study at the Early Emotional Development Program of the Washington University School of Medicine has shown that early emotional support and nurturing helps increase the rate of brain development in young children.

Fat lot of good: How eating more cheese and milk could make you brainier
Daily Mail Mar 6, 2012

New research has caused controversy by suggesting that, in fact, dairy food could be essential for a healthy brain. The study, by U.S. and Australian researchers, involving 1,000 adults, found those who regularly have dairy products such as milk, cheese and yoghurt score better on tests of mental ability than people who never, or rarely, consume dairy.

Unstructured play essential to child's development
Guelph Mercury Feb 16, 2012

Play can be characterized as any activity in which your child has fun; is uncomplicated and without any goals; and is both initiated and controlled by the child. Through this unstructured play, children are introduced to many different concepts of learning - such as math, reading, writing and social.

Does Preschool Matter?
Wired Mar 05, 2012

For many kids, the most important years of schooling come before they can even read. Consider the groundbreaking work of the Nobel Prize-winning economist James Heckman, who has repeatedly documented the power of early childhood education.

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