Nurturing Remarkable Abilities
By Inderbir Kaur Sandhu, Ph.D
Q:
I live in March in Cambridgeshire and for some time now i
have been contemplating contacting someone with regards to
the remarkable behaviour that my 2 year old son seems to be
exhibiting. He has a fascination with numbers and everything numerical
and for several months now has been able to do some
remarkable things. He has a till (very much like a calculator) which he loves
to sit at, inputing numbers and being told which number to
put in. You may not think this amazing until you hear that
the numbers we are talking about can be anything from zero
to 50,000 !!! I can ask him to put in say 36 thousand 365
(said as a whole number), and in it goes. I have the earlier
stages of this recorded on video.
He can also count by inputing each number simultaneously and
then pressing clear (and in the correct order) to well over
100. (In fact probably a lot further but it becomes a little
monotonous watching it!) He has learnt all of the letters of
the alphabet and knows them not as taught phonetically to
children, but as we as adults say them. He knows most
colours and can also count backwards from 10 to 0. He has
learnt how to operate (not just play with) the DVD player
and seems to have memorised a lot of the content on some of
his DVD's.
He also has an old mobile phone that he plays with and knows
how to access the media player and laughs when he is about
to play you the song 'Grace Kelly'! He just seems to be able
to learn things so quickly and has exhibited these signs for
at least 6 months. The amazing thing is, that he turned 2
last Monday. He can occupy himself for up to an hour
sometimes just with something new. especially if it involves
numbers. We told a lot of friends with children about all of
this, but i don't think they really truly understood the
full extent of it until last weekend when they came to his
birthday party and saw it for themselves. In fact one of
them (a primary school teacher) said that 95% of her 6 yr
olds couldn't do the things that he is doing. They all
seemed to think that i should speak to someone about it and
after discussing it with my partner, we agree that maybe we
should.
The thing that is on my mind, is that although he was
starting to talk and say words, it seems that now, he has
stopped and sort of refuses to say anything that you ask him
to. I know that as a child there is still plenty of time for
him to start talking, but what i don't want to happen is
that his mind becomes so intent on numbers or anything else
that it prevents him from expressing himself or learning
other things that maybe don't interest him because it's not
what he already knows. One last thing (and we find this
quite amusing!) is that with his plastic magnetic numbers on
the coffee table, he can put together a number that you ask
him (such as 73) and when it comes to asking him what the
next number is he promptly finds the next number, in this
case a 4 and adds it to the end. (making 734). when you then
look at him questioningly and say '734' ? he looks down,
slides the middle number away, pushes the 2 remaining
numbers together and then makes a noise as if to say 'no
stupid it's 74'. We laugh and say that he must be mocking
us!
My son's name is Harley and as you can tell we are very
proud parents but none of this has ever been pushed onto
him, and it has always been off of his own back. All we are
looking for, is advice on what options may be available to
us. If you could help in any way or pass this to anybody
that can, then we would be very grateful. Thanks.
A: Harley's abilities are
really remarkable and he has reached milestones way ahead of
his age group. Doing what he has been doing at two is not at
all common. It may be quite difficult to advice well here as
he may need to be observed by a professional and advise you
accordingly since your son appears to have exceptional
abilities. Somehow, I will try to give you some information
based on my experience.
Studies have indicated that exceptionally gifted children
have, among other qualities, a tendency to elaborate the
simple, to think precisely, to simplify the complex, to
remember with unusual clarity and to reason abstractly at an
early age. You may want to observe these skills. As he
grows, do also take note of his uneven development; while
you may find that his cognitive skills can be highly
developed, his emotional maturity and behavioural control
can be varied. Because of this, as parents, you may need to
follow the complexity of his thoughts, validate his
experiences, and help him deal with emotions.
At his age (two and half by now) what you may want to do is
to follow his lead and meet his needs as they arise. For
instance, if he prefers and plays appropriately with toys or
activities designed for older children, e.g., 6-year-old, he
should be given those toys and activities. If he had already
mastered the alphabets, he may be given simple books and
gradually more complex ones. In terms of his verbal ability,
if you find that he uses very sophisticated vocabulary, he
should be spoken to in similar ways to cater for his
advanced developmental needs. Apart from that, as he is very
young and it may be hard to tell what his interests really
are, it would be a good idea to introduce him to a host of
activities - art and craft, sciences, music, library and
museum visits, etc. You will find here that there will be
subjects he may be interested in and some that he would show
less interest in. This is perfectly fine. If you find him
getting bored with some of the activities, it¡¯s perfectly
fine. Exposure is very important for gifted children, so as
long as you have exposed him to a variety of materials, you
are on the right track. Gradually you will find out his
interest and these would need some attention. For e.g., if
you find that he is interested in animals/insects, get him
books on those. For variety, you may even go to the zoo or
rent DVDs on animals. This would help him further explore
his interests and not get bored.
You will also need to give him more challenging activities
in a variety of forms. Bear in mind that too much coaching
may not be very helpful. Be a facilitator and guide him but
give him a lot of free play time. They need time to explore
on their own. Do also note that highly gifted children
usually have at least one parent who is gifted as well. So,
try to recall what you or your spouse went through when you
were very young and what could have helped you further.
Having said that, be prepared to work very hard to give the
best to this exceptional child.
A good contact in England may be
Professor Freeman's consultancy for advice on how to
nurture him to further develop his abilities. An interesting
site for more information on highly gifted children can be
found in the following
website.
Here's wishing you the very best and I am sure Harley would
greatly benefit from your parenting.
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