Make Your Child Smarter

ADHD Parenting

Q: I have a son who is 5 years old. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and currently under medication. Besides, his motor skill is poor, very emotional and sometimes unreasonable request. He most of the time very reluctant to go to kindergarten. I am very worry and concern how to help him to grow up normally.

A: One thing you can begin to do now which will have huge pay offs is to build your child's emotional intelligence. This means that you can experiment with focusing on teaching him about his emotions rather than getting in a power struggle with him about his behavior. For example, if he hits you, you can say "Your mad, its OK to be mad, tell mommy what you are mad at." It will be scary at first to reflect back the emotion rather than to punish bad behavior. But consider it a long term investment in your child's well being. Much of bad behavior and oppositional behavior is rooted in anger, sadness, and fear that the child is acting out. As soon as they can identify the feeling, express it and know that the feeling is OK, but the behavior is not, they will no longer act in ways that are so troublesome.

This is the first step toward making your child an emotional genius, but it is the most powerful thing you can begin to do today. Remember that the results may take weeks or months before you see the behavior change, but every time you reflect the emotion and validate it you are increasing his emotional intelligence which is a significant predictor of success in life.

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