Building Resilience in Children - Basic Methods and Techniques
By Andrew Loh
Understanding resilience is actually quite difficult, as it is a
psychological feeling. Children often find it very difficult to
express their innate feelings of fear and scare. When a child
undergoes a fearful or frightful experience, he or she will tend to
withdraw into a self made shell that inhibits their mental strength
and stamina. The result will be a situation, where the child will
lose self image and self confidence.
Teaching or enhancing resilience among children is a tough task, as
you will be dealing with their psychological behavior. Every child
is different! So is your child! You may need to understand why your
children are not showing the basic attitude of resilience. Here are
some basic methods and techniques that you can use to help your
children develop resilience:
The first and the foremost thing to remember here is that the
character of self confidence is the main source of resilience. Your
children should know the importance of developing self-confidence,
so that they can succeed in their life. They should believe in their
abilities and inner strength. They should also believe that they can
do anything and nothing is impossible in the world. Self confidence
acts like a lever that can propel your children forward towards
unqualified success. You may wish to use a number of keywords and
their phrases that are positive and self energizing.
It is so easy
It is so flexible
You will succeed
Success will come to you
You are capable
Resilience comes through a trusting and mutual relationship that is
also positive and rejuvenating. You should trust your children more
than ever. Believe in their abilities to perform well in their
studies and classrooms. Love and accept your child and respect their
characters. Provide them unconditional support in whatever they do
Set a family time schedule that is convenient both to you, your
spouse and children. Dedicate this time to converse and talk about
all general issues. You can reserve some time for inquiring about
your children's problems and worries. Trust what your children say
and utter. They may be wrong, but they will have something to tell
you. Show them concern and affection.
Use loving and encouraging words and sentences, when you are talking
to your children. There are hundreds of such words that you can use
to encourage your children.
Setting some basic rules in your home may bring some sense of order
in your children's lives. Strict discipline will help them learn and
understand the basics of life. Once they know how to obey rules,
they can streamline their lives towards developing the power of
resilience. Once it becomes a habit, your children will follow them
without any problem. Whenever your children break some rules, you
may tell them why discipline and rules are important for their
success in the future. When your children understand the importance
of these rules, they will automatically become focused on their
When your children know and understand why they should follow rules,
they will develop the basic attitude of “I can”.
When your children achieve a time sensitive goal, they will feel
proud of their achievements, which in turn will assist them in
enhancing the basic character of resilience.
For an ordinary child, the term resilience may generate from their
immediate surroundings. Children's classrooms and their peers may be
the biggest source of concerns for them. In fact, some children may
even develop negativities about their classes, teachers and the
intensive pressure to perform better in tests. Most of the children,
who go to their schools, may be less resilient. Bullying by senior
students and other children may be one of the biggest negative
influences that can hinder children from developing resilience.
When your children complain about someone bullying them, you can
reassure them that you will talk to the concerned teacher about the
incident. Alternatively, you can even ask your children to complain
with their teachers about the incident. When you reassure your
children, they will feel satisfied and happy that there is someone
who can listen to their genuine problems.
Resilience in children is developing that sense of toughness and
rigidness that help them in solving most common day to day problems.
However, there are some problems that relate to more serious issues.
Under such incidences, your children may depend on you to solve
their problems. Resilience is also a psychological benefit and
advantage that can assist your children face any adverse situations
with very high levels of confidence and motivation.
A Parent's Guide to Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Your Child Roots and Wings
By Dr. Kenneth R.Ginsberg
Today's children face a great deal of stress - academic
performance, heavy scheduling, high achievement standards,
media messages, peer pressures, family tension. Without
healthier solutions, they often cope by talking back, giving
up, or indulging in unhealthy behaviors. Show your child how
to bounce back - and THRIVE - with coping strategies from
one of the nation's foremost experts in adolescent medicine.
This 7-C plan for resilience helps kids of all ages learn
competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution,
coping, and control to help them bounce back from
challenges. You'll find effective strategies to help your
children and teens.