Negative Consequences of Helicopter Parenting and Ways to Avoid them
By Andrew Loh
Helicopter parenting, by all means, signifies a negative type of
parenting where the children in question might lose their personal
identity altogether. Several negative consequences surround this
parenting style and some of them are given below:
Low self-esteem and confidence
Helicopter parenting usually backfires on both
children and their parents. In fact, it can destroy the basic concept of
family culture. Parents, with their parenting style, send an invisible
and indirect signal saying that “look child, I may not believe you and I
will help you in my own way.” Over insistence on controlling a child's
mind will eventually result in the development of low esteem and
Failure to manage with crisis and emergencies
Children, who are managed under a helicopter parenting style, are
more likely to under develop coping skills that are so much required to
manage emergencies, anger, frustration, disappointment, failure and
crisis. If parents keep managing their children's affairs, how do they
expect them to become independent and self-sufficient? Previous studies
show us that children who are nurtured under helicopter parenting style
are more likely to face serious problems in life.
Enhanced anxiety and panic state
The results of helicopter parenting could
be the development of over anxiety, fear, panic syndrome, and depression
and isolation tendencies. Just because children were raised under a
strict regime of controls, they are made to suffer unnecessarily in a
number of ways.
A deep sense of entitlement and rebel tendencies
Helicopter parented children are more likely to develop a sense of
entitlement that leads to having their own way of leading a protected
life. They might even develop a tendency to become rebels against their
Lack of life skills
Lack of life skills is possibly the most damaging result of over parenting. Life skills are far
more important and critical than academic skills. Parents who do all the
work for their children may snatch away a child's ability to develop
Ways to avoid helicopter parenting
The simplest way to avoid helicopter parenting is to avoid it altogether!
However, it is easier said than done. Since, this style of parenting
comes to parents almost in an invisible manner the best way to handle it
is to know different consequences that might prove dangerous to
children. Here are some simple tips to avoid the tendency to be a
Tip #1: Get rid of ideas to become a
helicopter parent! First, know why this idea is bad altogether. Consult
experts if you want to. Read books and magazines on the subject and try
to understand overall implications.
Tip #2: Believe in your
children and allow them sufficient time and freedom to learn by
themselves. Start trusting children's ability to perform and learn on
their own and with their efforts. Help and guide them while they are
learning basics of life.
Tip #3: If you find any school
related problem, never rush to school every day to complain to school
teachers. Let them do their work and help out children. If needed, sit
down with teachers and consult how you can improve children's classroom
Tip #4: Understand children's strength and
weakness, and start working on them. Concentrate on the latter more to
bring children on par with the normal ones. Remember that parenting is a
two way act – one to give love and affection, and the other to help them
responsible citizens in the future. Be strict while teaching discipline
and mannerism while show human side while showering love and affection.
Know the balance between these two aspects.
Tip #5:Helicopter parenting means a negative mindset that is often regressive.
Make sure that you are keeping away all of your prejudices and bias
while raising children. Drive the past way and your previous bitter
experiences. Live for the day and help your children live for tomorrow.
Tip #6: Never interfere to step on the toes of children
especially when they take some decisions on their own. Leave children to
themselves and let them sort out all pending issues among them. Guide
them only when necessary.
Yes, everyone knows that parenting is
not too easy especially when parents have two or more children. The
basic responsibility of every parent lies in the fact that parenting
should be performed based on the immediate necessity and not on
something that is based on preconceived ideas and expectations. After
all, parenting is a wonderful act that relies on an emotional and
rational partnership between parents, children and other family members.
Everyone is an equal shareholder and vital partner.
The Overparenting Epidemic: Why Helicopter Parenting Is Bad for Your Kids . . . and Dangerous for You, Too!
By George Glass, MD and David Tabatsky
Whatever we label it, overparenting - anxious, invasive, overly attentive, and competitive parenting - may have
finally backfired. As we witness the first generation of over parented children becoming adults in their own right,
many studies show that when baby boomer parents intervene inappropriately - with too much advice, excessive favors,
and erasing obstacles that kids should negotiate themselves - their “millennial” children end up
ill-behaved, anxious, narcissistic, entitled youths unable to cope with everyday life.
Written by a noted psychiatrist and a parenting specialist, The
Over parenting Epidemic is a science-based yet humorous and practical book that features an easy-to-read menu of
pragmatic, reasonable advice for how to parent children effectively and lovingly without overdoing it, especially
in the context of today's demanding world.