Effective Discipline Techniques that Actually Work for Your Children - Part I
By Andrew Loh
Children, when they are young, are immature, feel helpless and do not
possess the power of reasoning. Without the help of parents, they can
never survive this world. Hence, the main duty of parents is to help and
love them to become responsible adults who can survive the rigors of
this world. Success comes in many forms. Behaving in a responsible
manner is one of the most important factors that can either make or
break a person's life. Good behavior and discipline have many things in
common. For example, good behavior among children can only come though
discipline while ill mannerism could be due to bad discipline.
Discipline is very important for both children and parents. Well
disciplined children could be cynosure of all eyes. In a general term,
discipline means teaching and training to imbibe good mannerism.
Controlling self, setting good standards for themselves and
accomplishing goals through a pleasing mannerism are some of the
important skills that a child can develop. In essence, discipline is to
cut a rough diamond into a well polished stone that radiates brilliance
Parents might use different ways to discipline
their children and make them behave properly in public. However, they
should actually work in practice and they should help children transform
their character to the best. Three of the often used but negative
approaches of disciplining a child are employing force, and punishing
while the other is instilling a sense of fear. All these three methods
are counter-productive and they can easily over power the child to make
him or her negative, inferior and defying. These approaches may also end
up in creating children who are sad, depressed, disappointed and
If these methods are not good enough for parents,
what can they choose? In fact, there are other ways to chose! They are
safer, assured and result oriented although one might need more time to
see the actual result. This method works on the following principles:
That children are very good in their innermost nature.
That honest to their inner core.
That they are natural and can learn whatever they are taught.
That they are capable identifying good from the bad.
That they are actually concerned about their persona as their parents are.
This method works on the basic principle of
giving respect to children and expecting the same from them. In fact,
parents may need to consider them as good as they are. Parents may use
this technique that involves the concept of “give and take respect”.
This article deals with proven discipline techniques that actually
work for your children. A parent should have a working goal to train
their children to behave in public and show enough discipline that sets
them apart from others who are disciplined. Here is some of the
working and proven strategies:
Following natural consequences
One of the best methods to teach how to behave is to let children experience
the consequence if they not behave well. For example, if one of the
children keeps throwing that bar chocolate, make sure that your cut down
on her supplies of bars. Ask him or her to skip her share for a day or
two. Similarly, if one of your children keeps breaking toys, withdraw
the pleasure of enjoying with the toys for a day or two. This approach
might teach them not to throw bars or break toys and that the
consequences for their misbehavior could be very risky and
disadvantageous. Result: Children learn best that avoiding the
negative consequence is the only way. They also learn that misbehavior
always come with a consequent price that could be very harsh.
Following logical consequences
This is almost similar to the
earlier method. Here, parents may need to tell their children that they
would lose their privilege of enjoying bars or playing with toys for a
week. However, you should mean what you say and follow it with strict
action. Be firm and never ever yell at an instance of misbehavior.
Withdrawing privileges and freedom
It is a sort of tit-for-tat method! If your children are not cooperating or if they are
defying your orders, then they may need to give something back for their
misbehavior. It could be an object or a privilege such as toys or
cookies. In other words, it should be something that your children value
very much. This method works very well for young children in the age
group of 5-7 years. However, do not snatch their necessary needs like
meals, breakfast and classroom objects.
Taking time-out to initiate good behavior
This approach works well for children who
are within the age group of 3 to 5 years. It also works very well when
children break already specified rules of the house. To make this
technique work, parents may need to finalize two or three specific
behaviors that force you to initiate a session of time-out. Parents may
need to explain the rules of the game before hand. They may need to
repeat this procedure many times to make it sink in the minds of the
children. Now, choose a secluded spot without any external distractions.
Make sure that the moment for time out is to allow the children to relax
and cool off. This approach will allow them to recuperate their thoughts
and start to think that misbehavior is counter-productive for their
Two or three instances of misbehavior will attract
time-our punishment. Before starting the session, parents may need to
tell their children the reason for time-out. They may need to display
any emotions as it will send a wrong signal. They may also like to avoid
listening to children's plea to stop the punishment. In fact, there
should be enough silence during time-out so that the children will have
enough time to reflect on their misbehavior. Time-our durations might
vary from a minute to about one hour depending on the age of the
children. Soon after the time out session, ask children to resume their
normal activities and do not talk about the session. Children should
understand and acknowledge that misbehavior will result in time-out
The next article in this series
Effective Discipline Techniques that Actually Work for Your Children - Part II
would provide additional tips to make disciplining more effective and productive.