How to Discipline Children without Punishment - Part I
By Andrew Loh
Learning different child discipline techniques is an important and
critical parenting skill that you should master. Teaching discipline to
your child is an important activity that can help your child become a
responsible citizen. Discipline is an important behavior for everyone,
who aspires to be well mannered, affable, pleasing and good person.
Child discipline is not similar to punishing your child. Rather, child discipline
has to do quite a lot with teaching responsible behavior to your
children. It involves teaching your children a number of useful things
Teaching your children what is right and wrong.
How to respect the rights of others.
Teaching the behaviors that are acceptable to others.
Learning to identify behaviors that are socially bad
The ultimate goal of child discipline is to raise a child, who is
socially, mentally and emotionally responsible and secure person. In
essence, when you teach your child how to be disciplined, you will help
him or her to become:
Secure and loved
A child, who is self disciplined, will know how to control anger and
impulses. He or she will also learn how not to get overtly frustrated
and disappointed with most normal stresses and pressures of life.
Disciplining a child is an art and science. Many parents still believe
that disciplining a child is all about punishing and scolding. Learning
how to be disciplined is a positive behavior. It is about guiding your
children in a positive way. You may wish to appreciate some important
differences between disciple and punishment. When you teach discipline
to your child, you are telling your child how to learn self control.
Children always try to lean the advantage of doing what is right and
wrong. Discipline helps them to create a self value system that takes
them forward to design and set a productive life. Just take the example
of honesty and integrity. Because of learning how to be self
disciplined, your child will start to speak and act in an honest manner.
With self discipline, your child knows how to be honest with others, and
he or she also knows why being honest and truthful, is an intelligent
and wise thing to do.
Teaching discipline to your child is a dicey task. Teaching discipline
without punishing children is an intelligent act. Punishment is an
ultimate form of disciplining your children. You may wish to ask your
conscience and inner mind, whether it is a good thing to punish your
child or not. You may also wish to know why scolding or abusing your
child could be very dangerous and unfruitful in the end.
Many parents may not know the negative influence of scolding or abusing
their children. Just consider the following scenarios when parents
spank, scold, beat or abuse their children at the spur of the moment,
when their children act in an irresponsible manner:
Note: Parents who spank or beat their children rather than
using other discipline methods always say:
...... “They should know who the boss in home is”
...... “You just cannot let them go away with anything”
...... “Did they ask for it?”
...... “Now, I have cleared the air”
...... “It is my job to discipline them”
Parents may also give several reasons for spanking or abusing their
children. Some of these reasons could be as follows:
......“When I get angry at someone, I take it on my child”
...... “I do not have any other way of teaching my child how to be
...... “I feel my tensions go away when I beat them”
...... “I am a responsible parent”
...... “I feel that I am in total control”
However, both past and recent research conducted by leading experts
suggest us that scolding or spanking your children is a negative
behavior on the part of parents. One can never discipline their children
with these negative behaviors. Mind you, punishment is a negative method
of disciplining your child that uses pain and unpleasantness to stop
your child, who is doing something wrong. Punishment can stop the bad
behavior for the moment. It never teaches your child the good behavior
you always wanted to teach. Punishment can stop the bad behavior only
for the time. It is not permanent. Punishment can teach and train your
children to avoid being caught at the act of bad behavior. Children's
behavior is always directed toward preventing self from punishment.
Being a positive minded parent can have very good influences on your
children. You may wish to learn and master how you can discipline your
children without tears and by avoiding punishing them. It is easy and
simple. You just need to apply the basic principles of human behavior.
You just need to believe in yourself and avoid anything that is wrong.
Mind you all children are different and each one of them have different
temperament. They grow with different milestones and developmental
levels. A particular style of disciplining may not work with every
child. When you know and understand why your children are behaving in a
negative manner, you can easily train them to learn how to be
disciplined. You can be a great parent by raising children, who are not
only responsible, but also duty bound, honest and truthful. What you
need to know is how to discipline them without using negative and
inferior methods of parenting. Continue to read
How to Discipline Children without Punishment - Part II