Building Resilience in Children - Techniques and Methods
By Andrew Loh
Strategies and techniques for resilience could be deployed over time and
in small increments to enforce learning process. Positive thinking and
character building are the two important poles for teaching resilience
in children. Resilience is a package of meaningful practices. These
practices attempt to train your children in a series of techniques and
methods. Dr. Ginsberg was the pioneer researcher in the field of
resilience in children. She recommends a series of techniques to train
your children. Here are some of them:
Developing competence in children
Competence means knowing with certainty that you can
manage a situation in an effective manner. Competence is the inbuilt
ability to handle any given situation with courage and grit. You can
help your children develop competence by using the following techniques:
Assist your children to identify their strengths and weaknesses.
They should know the areas and fields where they can excel and perform
well. Help them find out whether they are committing any mistakes. They
should also learn how not to commit the same mistakes again in future.
Allow your children to make their own decisions because it will help
them learn responsibilities and understand how freedom to think alone
could help them find solutions to problems.
Developing confidence in children
Self-confidence is the precursor to
develop self-esteem in children. Understanding oneself is the most
critical issue for success in life. Parents could help their children
develop self-confidence in numerous ways. When the children are
competent, they will develop confidence automatically. When children
learn how to confident, they will also develop self-resilience. The best
technique to learn how to gain confidence is to achieve perfection in
what one is doing. When your child gets very good marks in a difficult
subject, they will develop the necessary confidence to perform better in
the next test.
Developing a network of friends and asking children to keep in touch with them
Good friends are like mentors. They are ready to help anyone who is in problem. A social
network of good friends is an absolute necessity. You should help your
children in creating a small social network of like-minded friends.
Children should develop close ties with their friends, peers, teachers
and relatives to understand how companionship will help them solve many
problems. With a good network of friends, children will experience
empathy, sympathy and helpful nature. This cooperative attitude will
come to use in the future when your children face some adverse
Learning how to manage stressful situations
Life's challenges are easy to overcome when you learn how to handle and
manage them. In other words, coping with stress will help you develop
tenacity and resilience. This principle works for your children too.
Positive coping is a character of confronting stressful situations with
a deft hand. You may want to train your children for positive coping
methods. Stopping negative behavior is another useful strategy to
counter stressful situation.
Learning how to control mind and thoughts
When serious situations arise in one's life, the first
thing that he or she does is to display intense emotions that are often
uncontrollable. Uncontrolled emotions are always dangerous to life. When
children become intensively emotional, they tend to lose their power of
rational thinking. This will eventually lead to additional stress and
pressure. Children should learn how to control their thoughts. You may
want to tell your children that life could pose stiff challenges at time
and they should be ready to manage them effectively.
Here are some simple strategies and plans to train your children for resiliency:
Helping children to identify their feelings and emotions
Power words: “I understand how you feel when I am gone to office for my
work. Anyway, I will be here very soon, before you do your project work.
Please wait until I come back”
Teaching them about life's realities
Power words: “I forgot to tell you! I will not be
coming to school to pick you up. Instead, I will send someone to pick
Comforting children to face possible fears and anxieties
Power words: “I know the difficulties in taking the math test.
However, I am sure that you will do well when you study hard”
Helping children to build a network of friends
Power words: “Why don't you invite your friends to a weekend party? Alternatively, you can
even go to your friend's party for the next weekend.”
Make them share problems with you
Power Words: “Problems are common in
your lives. Please let me know if you have any problems. I will help you
if you have any genuine problems.”
Make them understand the power of resiliency
Power words: “Come what may, you should try to
face all the problems with courage and conviction.”
Resiliency is a survival tool for the modern world. Children, who are resilient and
tenacious, can easily learn how to face any advertise of life that are
most likely occur from time to time.
A Parent's Guide to Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Your Child Roots and Wings
By Dr. Kenneth R. Ginsburg
Today's children face a great deal of stress - academic performance, heavy scheduling,
high achievement standards, media messages, peer pressures, family tension. Without healthier solutions,
they often cope by talking back, giving up, or indulging in unhealthy behaviors.
Show your child how to bounce back - and THRIVE - with coping strategies from
one of the nation's foremost experts in adolescent medicine. This 7-C plan for resilience
that helps kids of all ages learn competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution,
coping, and control to help them bounce back from challenges.