Make Your Child Smarter

Your Child's First Teacher

By Nancy Lu

A Parent's Role as Teacher

You are probably seen or heard of extraordinary children who excel academically. These kids are outstanding in art, math, and literature. They are editors of their school newspaper and leaders of campus clubs. They seem to be successful in everything they do. When I look a group of outstanding kids, I see behind them the hands that rocked their cradles. Their parents can not "make" them do these things, of course. Every child is a unique individual with his own subjective consciousness, with his own ideas that, after a certain age, are so strong no parent can force him do anything.

Rather, I think of a parent as a farmer preparing a fertile and hospitable place for his seeds to thrive and flourish. He plows his field, sows the seeds, then labors day after day feeding and irrigating them, getting rid of bugs, and watching over his field with love. The rest is up to Mother Nature and the innate potential in each seed. At harvest time, the bounteous crop brings joy to the farmer.

The first several years of a child's life are the time of most rapid brain development, and the time of greatest learning. These are the years before formal schooling. In addition to providing for our children's physical and emotional needs, we are their very first, perhaps most important, teachers. What we do during this time can determine if they wither on the vine or blossom gloriously.

In the years I have been involved in education, I have come to know many enthusiastic, dedicated, sincere, and admirable parents. There are parents, however, who have a laissez faire attitude about parenting: "Let him do whatever he wants!" or "Let nature take its course!" They greatly underestimate their child's ability to learn, or believe that all learning takes place in school. Or perhaps they underestimate their own ability to raise an outstanding child. I'd like to remind such parents that a good coach can train a champion athlete without being a gold-medalist himself.

Other parents are extremely anxious about actively teaching their child. They worry that they don't have all the answers, and that what answers they can find in books or from experts may not apply to their situation. They worry that single false step, as in chess, may cost the entire game. None of us ever feels fully prepared for such an important role. Our intuition and our love for our child will see us through when ready answers can not be found. And, thankfully, children are resilient. Our attitude and commitment towards our role may be more important than what we actually do.

Children are born of parents but do not belong to them. A child is a separate, unique individual, but his education lies in his parents' hands. From the very first days, you must establish a clear, firm standard and then follow through. You can not expect obedience when he is grown if you ignored discipline when he was small.

Children accept what is right when they are given guidelines; no one wants to be a nuisance. Today's indulgence will be tomorrow's regret. Communicate with them every day as they grow. The roles we play as parents will also need to keep adjusting to their growth. You are now like a strong, solid, irremovable tree that they can always depend on. As they get order, you should become a friend they can trust, talk to, share opinions with, and count on for emotional support.

When their wings are strong enough to fly, they should soar to the sky, because you have already given them the tools they need to survive. Even if they fall or get hurt, they know how to pick themselves up because you gave them the confidence.

A child who is loved treasures life, respects life, and appreciates life. A child who is loved wants to hold on to every moment and make it brilliant! You raised him from infancy to the day he spreads his wings and soars to the sky; you can feel gratified that your hard work has paid off. We can not return to the past, but we can always reflect it in the future.

Preparing Your Child for the Future

Parents must be concerned not only with raising a healthy, well-adjusted child, but also with preparing her for her place in society twenty years from now. The future world that awaits our children will be far more complex than today's world. We can see how rapidly computer technology has advanced; in the wake of this progress, people across the global information on the internet, it is certainly true that a scholar can know the world without stepping out the door. Children today already know more about the planet and the importance of protecting it than we did when we were young.

As the world becomes more complex, people will be more increasingly dependent on one another, and tasks will require the combined efforts of many. Her ability to communicate, negotiate, and bring out ideas in others will be very important. As competition between people intensifies and the pace of change increases, she will have to be flexible and, above all, able to quickly absorb information and learn new skills.

Survival in that future world will require the highest intelligence possible. We must do all in our power to develop that intelligence in our children. How well your child thrives in the future will also depend upon her enthusiasm for learning, her ability to think creatively and independently, and her moral and ethical sensibilities. The foundation for these elements should be laid now, in her early years, by you, her first teachers, and reinforced throughout her childhood and adolescence.

Nancy Lu has two highly gifted children. Her son has an IQ of 194 and entered college at age 10. He got his Master in Computer Science from Stanford University at age 16. Now he is 19 and is working on his third year of the Math Ph.D. program. Nancy's daughter is also highly gifted with an IQ of 189. She is a Jr. in college majoring in English and Theater now. Their stories have been broadcasted around the world. Ever since then, Nancy has poured her experiences on raising two children with high IQs into a book titled "Raising IQ: Help your children reach their full potential".

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