Seeing The Souls of Your Children
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D
Your toddler is having her second tantrum of the day while your
four year old son is racing around the house with the neighbor's
child. You feel completely stressed out and are questioning your
decision to have these kids, with a third on the way! What were you
thinking?!
At times like this you might want to remember who your children
really are. You might want to remember that your children are
spiritual beings with eternal souls, who courageously came here to
evolve their souls in love through the earthly experience. You might
want to remember that they are wonderful, loving, creative beings
who are learning how to operate on the planet in their little
bodies. You might want to remember that they are souls that need
your love as much as they need oxygen, food, and water. You might
want to remember that, in their souls, they are peaceful beings, and
that they may respond to being seen as peaceful beings even in the
midst of chaos.
Your response to your children's difficult behavior has much to
do with shaping your own parenting experience as well as shaping
their characters. When you see yourself as having the privilege of
shepherding these precious souls into adulthood, rather than being
burdened with the task of raising these children, your own
experience of parenthood will be greatly enhanced. When you connect
with the beautiful essence of their spirits, even in the midst of
having to handle the tantrum, you teach them to value their own
beauty. When you stay conscious of the love and peacefulness within
your own soul, you role-model for them who they really are.
You have the choice each moment to see your children through
spiritual eyes of love or through earthly eyes of fear and control.
The moment your intention is to control them, you are likely to
respond to their tantrums, demands, and resistance with anger,
exasperation, frustration, compliance or criticism. When your
intention is to be loving to yourself and to them, you will find
loving ways of limiting their unacceptable behavior. Asking
yourself, "What is the loving action toward myself and my children
in this moment?" will bring ideas into your mind of healthy ways
of handling difficult behavior. We want to limit unacceptable
behavior without limiting the aliveness and joy of our children.
For example, if your intention is to have control over your
daughter while she's having a tantrum, your own energy will be
harsh, angry, and judgmental. You might yell at her to stop, or you
might walk away in anger and frustration. In either case, you are
not being a role-model for the behavior you want. However, if you
hold in your heart the wonder and peacefulness of your daughter's
soul, you might pick her up and hold her tight until she stops her
tantrum, limiting her behavior while giving her love, or you might
walk away from the tantrum with the loving energy of taking care of
yourself rather than punishing her.
Your intention to be loving or controlling not only determines
how you end up feeling, but educates your child as well. Your
controlling behavior teaches your child to keep finding new ways to
control, while behavior that is loving to yourself and your child
teaches your child about loving herself and loving you. Staying
connected with your own love and peacefulness helps you to stay
connected with the love and peacefulness of your child's soul, and
becomes a mirror to help your child know who he or she really is
a wonderful, beautiful, loving and peaceful child of God.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of
eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By
You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator
of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding
now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course:
http://www.innerbonding.com or
mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available.
Don't forget to subscribe to our ezine to stay on top of the latest news on
child brain development and early child development
|
|