The Power of Praising and Encouragement
By Andrew Loh
As parents, we know and understand that praising and encouragement
form two of the most potent tools to raise our children. We also
know that these characters are very important for a meaningful
parent-children relationship. In essence, almost all parents have
learned and mastered the art of developing their children's
self-image and self-esteem by inculcating a number of positive and
encouraging words and expressions. However, what is a bit misleading
is how the action of praising can really make a significant
difference in how and in what manner our children benefit from those
wonderful words of praise and encouragement.
The effort of praising is far more encouraging for
your children than to praise the outcome. When you praise and
encourage your children, when they are working very hard to perform
best in their classes, you are actually praising and encouraging
them for their effort. In fact, you will not be focusing on the
results or outcome of their effort; in reality, you may never focus
on, if they win or lose in the game.
Tip: Every parent may wish to praise his or her children for those
things that are extremely difficult to control and not those they
Praising is communicating! Communication is an effective tool to
heap praise your kids. Praising is a positive action! It is also a
productive process of empowering your children with an efficient
tool to succeed in their life. Praising is also a tool that can help
your children perform better in whatever the career they chose. You
can show praise by using a number of little gestures and actions!
Kind words, actions, facial expressions, or even a very gentle touch
can constitute essential features of praising and encouraging.
Praising and encouragement can lead to inherent feelings of
self-pride and self-confidence. These positive actions will also
help your children perform better than their counterparts. When you
praise your children, you are letting them know that:
Praising and encouragement are important for both you and your
children. Some of the perceived benefits are:
Ensure that you are praising your children for what they are and
what they do. Never look at the possible outcome or results. In
fact, there are two basic types of praising and encouragement -
praising and encouraging for being and praising and encouraging for
doing. When you praise your children for what they are or praising
for being, you are already letting your children know that they are
really good and worthwhile. This positive action will also
demonstrate that you love your children. You can employ this
technique anytime you want.
On the other hand, praising your children for what they are doing
means that you are praising them for what they have already done.
With this simple action, you are letting your children know and
understand that their actions were pleasing to you. Did you know
what your children simply love to please you all the time? Here are
some kind praising and encouraging words that you can practice in
front of your children:
Praising and encouraging for doing or performing an action
"Thanks so much for helping me"
"You have worked so hard for that subject"
"Thanks for helping in the kitchen"
Praising and encouraging for being and for what they are
However, you may wish to be careful while using these techniques.
Never ever, use both of these techniques together and at the same
time. Just stop for a minute before praising your children. You may
need to check why you are praising and encouraging your children -
is it for what they are or is it for what they have done or
performed. Here are some examples:
Say "Dad loves you so much" instead of "Dad loves you so
much for helping me"
Just assess and evaluate the above-mentioned sentence:
You are telling your child, her or his dad loves her only sometime,
like when she performs a specific action; in this case, it is
helping mother. However, the other way of praising is actually very
positive and meaningful. In this case, you are praising your
children for what they really are! Here, your praising and
encouragement is purely our of affection and it is unconditional.
Careful use of words and expressions can do wonders for your
children. When you praise and encourage your children in a
thoughtful manner, you are helping them succeed in their future,
both in their professional and personal life.