Three Important Tips to Overcome Defiant Behavior in Kids
By Andrew Loh
Parents already know and understand that most of the kids tend to
display occasional defiant attitudes like throwing tantrums and
misbehaving with people. However, there might be a limit to what
your kid can display and exhibit in front of others. All kids do
exhibit their share of misbehavior from time to time. But, there may
be kids who tend to display an obsessive misbehavior disorder that
parents must try and rectify as soon as possible. Parents can device
their own methods and plans to overcome defiant behavior in
children. Here are three important tips that will help parents to
change their kid's behavior.
Playing with your kids
The most important goal here is to strengthen the emotional bon
between you and your kids. Stronger bond between you and your kids
means that your kids will better respond to disciplining regimen. In
many cases, kids want to attract their parent's immediate attention;
kids may stop misbehaving altogether as soon as they understand that
they don't need to create a drama to draw parent's attention.
Important tips to be followed while spending time with your kid are
paying positive attention, taking meaningfully and empathizing with
Playing brain stimulating games and puzzles with your kid seems to
be a productive idea. You can reserve some specific time slots to
spend with your kids. Ensure that you using this time slot to teach
the basics of mannerisms and good behavior. Parent-kid playtime is
very important to make your kids feel protected, loved, adored and
looked after. Positive reinforcement through playtime makes your
child to develop strong self-esteem and self-image. They will also
feel competent and bold to take positive actions.
Tips: Playtime may include sessions that mimic
classrooms where you will be a friendly teacher and your kid a
courteous student. Now, you can teach your kids important words like
"please", "thank you", "kindly", "nice", "good" etc. This could also
be the time to teach social skills like taking turns, standing in a
Q, and cooperating with others to get a work done. Playing problem
solving games is also a nice idea. Teaching vocabulary and
imagination skills will help your kid to develop a sense of positive
vibe and encouragement.
Caution: At time, parents may loose their patience and
get angry in the process when they see that their kids are still
misbehaving with others. Parents will need to be patent enough to
put their maximum effort as the process tends to take a long time.
The Power of Praising
All kids display a tendency to show minor misbehavior with their
parents and other siblings. As a parent, you may need to condone
minor misbehavior and rectify it by using the power of praising.
Excessive scolding and yelling at your kids is always
counter-productive. On the other hand, the use of occasional praise
encourages your kids, stimulates them to behave in a better manner
and conditions them to interact in a positive manner. Praising will
also make your kid understand his or her self-worth and
accomplishment. Kids always repeat the same behavior that brought
them heaps of praise!
Praise your kids when they perform their assigned tasks and daily
chores like brushing, bathing and feeding.
Praise your kids when they do something good like helping you in
finishing off some house related tasks.
Praise your kid when he or she show positive behavior like listening
to parents, obeying and heeding to requests, getting dressed on time
for school, sharing things with others, doing daily chores, playing
quietly to themselves and talking nicely to others.
Use string and positive praise words: "Nice job", "well done", "great",
"wonderful", "good", "excellent" ....etc.
The Power of Ignoring
While praising your kids for good behavior is a good idea and a
practical solution, you may need some other form of tactics to teach
good behavior to your kid. Sometimes, you may need to use the power
of ignoring to dispel negative, attention seeking behavior. You may
need to ignore incidences of throwing tantrums, crying, whining and
swearing needs to be ignored by you.
Ignoring your kid for bad behavior is a double edged knife that can
work both ways. Before ignoring your child, you will need to decide
and confirm the behavior displayed by him or her is genuine and that
it took place because of real reasons. You may need to segregate and
single out instances of bad behavior before deciding to ignore your
kid. You may wish to use the power of ignoring and praising
techniques alternatively to bring good behavior in your kid.