Make Your Child Smarter

Tackling Difficult Behavior by Defiant Children

By Andrew Loh

Difficult and ill-mannered behavior by your kids may create big problems not only for you but also for themselves. Difficult behavior by your kids could also pose problems to your neighbors, friends and colleagues. Difficult behavior may include the following:

• Throwing temper tantrums at you, other kids in the home and your spouse. Temper tantrum by defiant kids could be a big nuisance and a tough act.

• Showing physical aggression is yet another sign of bad behavior in kids. You may need to curtail this unwanted behavior with deft handling of situations. The best thing that you can do as a parent is to defuse your kid¡¯s temper and anger and later make him or her realize the disadvantages of getting angry and physically aggressive.

• Verbal aggression could include scolding, throwing taunts and insulting others with unkind words.

• Defying instructions and commands by showing an ill-mannered behavior.

• Showing or expressing a character of extreme irritability. This negative character may be too bad if your kid is doing it in front of others.

• Displaying an impulsive and sudden behavior could be a negative show of personality.

• Restlessness and fickle mindedness are two other noted behavioral problems.

• Showing a hyperactive behavior could be embarrassing in front of your friends and colleagues.

• Failing to control emotions and showing an inclination to be emotionally unstables

Difficult behavior in kids may also display pronounced signs of low self image, self esteem, discouragement and occasional episodes of extreme sadness. Causes or reasons for defiant behavior can include:

• Wavering temperament: At least some kids are born intensive and negative in the mood shifts. Temperamental tendencies and inclinations could lead to defiant behavior in children when they grow up.

• Previous events that affect kid's psyche: Extreme poverty, marital problems between father and mother, and any other situations can lead to kids becoming defiant in their day-to-day behavior.

• Parental practices: Parents need to provide a stimulating and positive environment for their kids to grow and develop their personality. Kids also need positive reinforcements and interactions from their parents so that they can be positive in their own behavior.

• Brain development: There may be some developmental related problems that may create conditions suited for defiant behavior.

How parents can help their kids?

The main goal here is to improve and enhance parent-child relationship. Parents should devise methods and plans that focus on creating a mutually beneficial environment.

• Always focus on setting up a positive atmosphere with your kid. Allow and encourage positive interaction with your kid.

• Devote quality time to spend with your kids. Let the time so spent be sweet, devoted and pleasing.

• Get to know his or her ideas, opinions and mind. Encourage an interactive dialogue to listen to his or her problems and concerns.

• Never ever, forget to provide positive feedback for correct, right and appropriate actions from your kid. Reward them occasionally for their good behavior.

• Strong and meaningful parent-kid relationship is the essence of life. A strong relationship will eventually lead a blissful family life.

• Never ever, expect too much from your kids. Don¡¯t be too demanding with your kids. Have reasonable expectations and provide your kids a room to develop and improve.

• If you have older children, use the power of reasoning, logic and explanations to convince them. Older kids could be difficult to manage and streamline for their defiant behavior.

• Set up a system of affirmative parenthood. Ensure that you carry both the stick and carrot to discipline your kids. However, let the stick be hidden from the gaze of your kid. Too much disciplining may be counter-productive.

You will need to be very clear about your expectations from your child. You may wish to let your child know that what you expect from him or her. Giving clear and precise instructions could be very productive and useful. As parents, your sole duty is to manage your kid¡¯s behavior with a deft hand without being too proactive and punishing. Teaching good mannerism to your kid is a long drawn process involving strong parental attitude and clever parental action.

It is possible to make your kid a responsible citizen only when you include smart parental actions that include spending time to detect and identify possible problems and later finding practical solutions to overcome these problems. Defiant kids have their own heart and mind too! You may need to first understand their problems and respond later to find most practical solutions.

>> Back to Articles Directory    

Don't forget to subscribe to our ezine to stay on top of the latest news on child brain development and early child development